Giving & Receiving Forgiveness

'Be kind and compassionate...forgiving each other...' Ephesians 4:32 NIV

We have all been wounded. Who wounds us? Those we love and those who love us. When we feel rejected, abandoned, abused, manipulated or violated it's usually by people close to us: our parents, our friends, our marriage partners, our children, our teachers, our pastors. This is what makes forgiveness so difficult. It's our hearts that are wounded! We cry out, You, who I expected to be there for me, have failed me. How can I ever forgive you for that? Though forgiveness may seem impossible, the God who lives within us will give us the grace to go beyond our wounded selves and say, In the name of Christ, I forgive you. But remember, there are two sides to forgiveness: giving and receiving. Although at first sight, giving seems harder, often we are not able to offer forgiveness because we haven't fully received it ourselves. Only as people who have tasted the joy of forgiveness can we find the inner motivation to give it. Why is receiving forgiveness so difficult? Because it's hard to acknowledge that without your forgiveness I'm still affected by what happened between us. I need you to help set me free and make me whole again. That requires not only a confession that we've been hurt, but also the humility to admit our dependence on the very one who hurt us. Yet, only when we're able to receive forgiveness, can we truly extend it to others. That's why the Bible says, 'Get rid of all bitterness... Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.'

Your Life Sentence

'Good people live right...' Proverbs 20:7 CEV

Eventually your life will be summarized in a single sentence. What will your 'life sentence' be? If you live intentionally, people at your funeral won't be left to wonder. Will you get it all exactly right? No. But, 'Good people live right, and God blesses the children who follow their example.' Your life is your greatest legacy, and you've only got one, so make it count. Leave a legacy of excellence. In his book Leadership Gold, John Maxwell has a chapter entitled, 'Don't Send Your Ducks To Eagle School'. In it he writes, 'Ducks are not supposed to be eagles-nor do they want to be... Who they are is who they should be. Ducks have their own strengths...' That's where they excel. Leave a legacy of encouragement. It's said, 'Some cause happiness wherever they go; others cause happiness whenever they leave.' Are you the kind of person someone will call 10 or 20 years from now and say, 'Thanks, I couldn't have made it without you'? Leave a legacy of purpose. We're most energized when we're investing our strengths and talents into a God-given purpose. So make your life about something bigger than yourself. You won't live forever, but you can live on through the impact you make now. Leave a legacy of love. Jon Gordon says, 'My mom...passed away a few years ago... I don't recall her faults and mistakes or the disagreements we had. After all, who's perfect? What I remember...was her love. She gave me a legacy of love that'll embrace generations to come.' What will your legacy be? Come join a great team at Calvary. You'll be amazed at what kind of legecy you can leave for others....

Treasure your Family

'...Thus shall the man be blessed...' Psalm 128:4 NKJV

If you're nice to outsiders but not to your own family, you have a problem that needs addressing. So read this: 'The children were loud, cranky, impossible. I was tired and fed up... I decided...to run away from it all and have a day just for me...a day in which I did what I wanted... I was going to live it up and be as greedy as I pleased. I wasn't going to tend to anybody but myself. I zoomed out of the house with $50. There, I did it! I said to myself as I drove to the highway... Well, I drove to a mall and had a wild time in a bookstore and bought the collected poems of Walt Whitman. After that I drove...to McDonald's and ordered two hamburgers, my own large fries and my own large soda. I ate everything without being interrupted, giving my pickle to anyone, or wiping anyone's mouth, nose, lap. Then I bought the biggest chocolate ice cream I could find. I was free! ...So I drove to a movie theatre and watched a movie without buying popcorn, without someone sitting on my lap, without escorting someone to the bathroom. I was a free man. I was living it up-and I was miserable. By the time I returned home everyone was asleep. As I slipped into bed my wife whispered, We missed you.' I answered, Me too. I never ran away from home again!'

The Psalmist wrote, 'Your wife shall be...in the very heart of your house, your children...all around your table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed...' (Psalm 128:3-4 NKJV)

Sometimes it's Easier to Just Reboot

'...Let God transform...the way you think...' Romans 12:2 NLT

Behind everything you do, there's a thought! So if you're serious about changing your life, you must change how you think. That's not easy, and it doesn't happen instantly. Picture yourself in a boat with the automatic pilot set to go in a certain direction, then you suddenly decide to go somewhere else.
First option: willpower. Grab the wheel and force it to go where you want; by sheer willpower, overcome the autopilot. But you'll feel constant resistance. Your arms will get tired, and when you let go of the wheel, guess what? The boat will go the way it's programmed to go. Get the idea? That's
what happens when you try to change your life through willpower alone: 'I'll force myself to quit drinking, cheating, or doing drugs no matter which kind', and so on. Your willpower can only produce short-term change, but it creates constant stress because you haven't dealt with
the root cause and reprogrammed your mind. The change doesn't feel natural so eventually you give up, revert to your old patterns and say, 'I guess this is just the way I am. I'll never change.' Second option: God's power. There is a better way! The Bible says, '...Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.' Change always begins in your mind! The way you think determines the way you feel, and the way you feel determines the way you act. You say, 'How can I change the way I think?' By programming your mind each day with God's Word. 'How can a...man cleanse his way? By taking heed according to Your word.' (Psalm 119:9 NKJV) So hit
the reboot button and start living God's way....

Interact

'...The words that I speak to you are...life.' John 6:63 NKJV

Don't just read this devotional, interact with it. To get the most out of each day, find an insight and reflect on it; a nugget of truth you ponder throughout the day. Paul told Timothy, 'Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight into all this.' (2 Timothy 2:7 NIV) The more you reflect, the more God will reveal. Then, find a verse and memorize it. This verse should encapsulate a truth you've just read. If you want to improve the quality of your life, memorizing Scripture is one of the most important habits you can begin. Write the verse down and read it every chance you get. Like a seed planted, it will produce life in you. Jesus said, '...The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life.' Then try to find a question and personalize it. This question should help you to think about what you've read and how it applies to you personally. The question is not just 'What is God saying?' but 'What is He saying to me?' By writing down your thoughts you can find the answer to that question. Finally, find a principle and act on it. Information only turns to transformation when you do something about what you've read. James writes, 'But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-he will be blessed in what he does.' (James 1:25 NIV) Your life is worth taking time to think about! So when you read this devotional, do these four things. It will change your life!

Insights #2

'The fear of the Lord adds length to life...' Proverbs 10:27 NIV

The secret of ageing well is staying young at heart, staying close to God, and staying fully engaged with life. The mirror isn't your problem; how you see yourself is. Have you noticed how 'young' some older people are, and how 'old' their peers seem? Seeking the elusive fountain of youth isn't the answer, nor is surrendering to time and fate. Rather, do these two things. First, be realistic! Nothing is sillier than a woman made up to re-create what she hasn't been for decades-except an older man in an unbuttoned shirt flashing jewelry intended to recreate the macho image of a lost youth. When you are comfortable with your age and stage of life, others will be too. Solomon points out that age decreases vigor, dims vision, slackens muscles, stiffens joints, whitens hair, and so on (Ecclesiastes 12:1-5). Vitamins, exercise and a good attitude help, but you must be realistic in order to handle ageing with dignity. Secondly, keep giving. 'Give generously, for your gifts will return to you later. Divide your gifts among many, for you do not know what risks lie ahead.' (Ecclesiastes 11:1-2 NLT) Don't stop investing your energy and resources into God's Kingdom because you think it's time for the young folk to take over. If you do that loneliness and depression will set in, and illness and death often soon follow. When you shut the door, draw the curtains and isolate yourself, you're old at any age. But when you stay in the mainstream, give yourself to God and others, you'll stay young all your life!

Insights

'The fear of the Lord adds length to life...' Proverbs 10:27 NIV

When asked about the benefits of living to be 100 years old, one centenarian smiled and said, 'There's very little peer pressure.' Thanks to medical science we're living to our eighties, nineties and beyond. But living longer means dealing with the realities of ageing. Our youth-orientated culture often gives old age a bad image, but clearly God doesn't agree. To Him, old age is the reward for a life well-lived, a privilege earned, an accomplishment worth celebrating, and wisdom shared to benefit succeeding generations. For the next few days let's observe some things about ageing.

Note how God sees ageing. He views long life as evidence of His favor. He says, '...Through Me your days will be many, and years will be added to your life.' (Proverbs 9:11 NIV) Longevity, with all its aches and pains, is a blessing. 'The fear of the Lord adds length to life, but the years of
the wicked are cut short.' You say, 'But who will take care of me when I get old?' Don't worry, God will be there for you: '...I have cared for you since you were born... I will be your God throughout your lifetime-until your hair is white with age...I will care for you...' (Isaiah 46:3-4 NLT) What an insurance policy! Is there proof that He does? Yes, ask the Psalmist. 'Once I was young, and now I am old. Yet I have never seen the godly abandoned or their children begging for bread.' (Psalm 37:25 NLT)

When you are Weak

'...He knows how weak we are...' Psalm 103:14 NLT

Any weakness you refuse to deal with will draw you towards the wrong things and set you up for defeat. To live victoriously you must recognize that, first, your weakness can emerge at
any time. What you allow to take root will grow within you. What you fail to master now will master you later. The Psalmist prayed, 'Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone.' (Psalm 71:9 NIV) Secondly, God's Spirit will repeatedly warn you. Jesus told Peter: '...Satan has asked for you... But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail: and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren.' (Luke 22:31-32 NKJV) Imagine the Lord praying for you. He does! '...if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.' (1 John 2:1 NAS) He intercedes for you, clothes you in His righteousness, and draws you back to Himself. Thirdly, God will continue to use you even while your weakness is growing within you. He provides opportunity after opportunity to reach for His help. Jesus warned Jerusalem, '...How often I have longed to gather your children together...but you were not willing...your house is left to you desolate.' (Matthew 23:37-38 NIV) When you neglect God's grace, what's left? Your consequences! You ask, 'What can I do?' Turn to God. He's neither shocked by your weakness nor unwilling to help you. Acknowledge your weakness. Become an enemy to it. Let God's Spirit empower you. Not only can He deliver you, He can turn your greatest weakness into your greatest weapon.

For Better or Worse

'...Having loved His own...He loved them to the end.' John 13:1 NKJV

On a busy morning, a nurse in the crowded emergency room seated an elderly gentleman who had come to have stitches removed from his hand. He said, 'I'm in a hurry, nurse. I have an appointment in an hour.' As the line of patients ahead of him moved slowly he kept looking anxiously at his watch. Knowing he'd never make his appointment, the nurse led him to an examination room, checked his vital signs and evaluated the condition of his wound. Seeing it was well-healed, she consulted with one of the doctors and got clearance to remove his sutures and re-dress his wound. She asked, 'Are you hurrying to another doctor's appointment?' He said, 'No, I'm on my way to have breakfast with my wife at the nursing home.' She asked about his wife's health and learned she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. 'Will she be upset if you're late?' The old man told her she hadn't recognized him in five years. Surprised, the nurse asked, 'And you still go to see her every morning, although she doesn't know who you are?' The old man smiled, patted her hand and replied, 'Oh, yes. She doesn't know who I am, but I still know who she is!' Loving 'for better or for worse' means being committed to each other in every season and circumstance of life. It's how Christ loves us: '...Having loved His own...He loved them to the end.' And it's why He said, 'A new command I give you... As I have loved you, so you must love one another.' (John 13:34 NIV)

Rules for Living

'His...power has given us everything we need for life...' 2 Peter 1:3 NIV

Here are three rules for living. First, learn to control the climate around you. Negativity is contagious; look out for its 'carriers'. Love them, lift them, but don't let them infect you. Filter what
people say to you through God's Word. '...God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power (ability and a can-do attitude) and of love (which always looks for the best) and of a sound mind (which is stable and consistent).' (2 Timothy1:7 NKJV) Secondly, learn to laugh at yourself. A woman who'd been given a lovely plant took it home, watered it, fertilized it and set it in the sun. A
year later she discovered it was silk-and she still laughs about it. When you're secure in God's love and approval you can laugh at yourself; it's a mark of spiritual maturity. Thirdly, learn to factor God in. Ever hear of the 90/10 rule? When 90 per cent of the circumstances are uncontrollable,
focus on the 10 per cent you can do something about. Paul did that. '...We were troubled on every side; without were fighting's, within were fears. Nevertheless God...' (2 Corinthians 7:5-6 KJV) Note the words 'Nevertheless God'. When you're facing a mountain always remember: God can move it, He can level it, He can tunnel through it, or He can help you climb it. All you have to do is factor Him in by seeking His face and consulting His Word. 'Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom...' (Colossians 3:16 KJV) Keep a rich deposit of Scripture within you and draw on it daily.

Standing When everything Around You is Falling

'...Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall.' 1 Corinthians 10:12 NKJV

Satan is out to tempt, trap and topple you. One of his favorite lies is that you can't fall. He appeals to your ego: 'You've got your spiritual act together; you're too strong to stumble. Weaker people wouldn't be able to handle it, but you can.' This lie is intended to make you over-confident, to lead you to '...Trust in man...depend on flesh for (your) strength' and '...turn away from
the Lord.' (Jeremiah 17:5 NIV) It's designed to get you to lower your guard and make you vulnerable to his schemes. Don't play into his hands! Be wise: 'Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.' (Proverbs 16:18 NKJV) Live on your knees. Fortify yourself with God's Word. Another of Satan's favorite lies is that you can't stand. This appeals to your underlying sense of unworthiness, fear and inadequacy. He whispers, 'Look at your track record. Compared to all those other good folks in church, you're not worthy to be called a Christian. Just give up.' Satan wants to divert you from '...Him who is able to keep you from stumbling, and to make you stand in the presence of His glory blameless with great joy.' (Jude 1:24 NAS) He wants to get you
focused on your negatives, your wayward friends, spiritual giants who fell, and tell you that because they couldn't make it, you've no chance. He'll replay your list of shortcomings to discourage you. Don't go for it. '...He is a liar and the father of lies.' (John 8:44 NAS) Believing him makes you his victim. Refuse to let either pride or inadequacy defeat you.

How God Reveals His Will to You

'...Did not our heart burn within us...' Luke 24:32 NKJV

Look at the two disciples on the road to Emmaus, and you'll discover how God speaks to us and
gives us direction. They thought they'd seen the death of Jesus and His movement. Fearful and disillusioned, they packed their bags and headed for home, when suddenly Jesus appeared to them. How does the Lord reveal His will to us? The simplicity of the process may surprise you. First, through others. The travelers' first mistake was to disregard the words of their fellow disciples. '...Today some women among us amazed us. Early this morning they went to the tomb, but they did not find his body there. They came and told us... Jesus was alive!' (Luke 24:22-23 NCV) God
still works that way. He still speaks to us through others. That's why you need to attend church regularly and build relationships that strengthen you. Secondly, through Scripture. '...Starting with what Moses and all the prophets had said about Him, Jesus began to explain everything that had been written about Himself in the Scriptures.' (Luke 24: 27 NCV) Their second mistake was disregarding the Word of God and listening to their fears. Are you doing that? God still speaks through His Word; the answers you need are in your Bible. Thirdly, through our heart's desire.
'They said to each other, It felt like a fire burning in us when Jesus talked to us....' God reveals His will to us by giving us a burning desire. What fuels and focuses you? Singles? Helping Children? The inner city? Untouched nations? Forgotten orphans? Youth? Whatever it is-heed the fire within you!

You Must be Faithful

'...He was faithful to God, who appointed him...' Hebrews 3:2 NLT

Faithfulness is more than just a nice concept; you must be faithful to something or someone. Actually, it's in making and keeping commitments to others that we demonstrate our faithfulness to God. '...And whatever you do in word or deed,do all in the name of the Lord...' (Colossians 3:17 NKJV) That means: to be seen by Him, to bring glory to Him, and to be rewarded by Him. If you don't love those around you, you don't really love God. Jesus put it this way: '...Inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.' (Matthew 25:40 NKJV) The
Greek word for faithful means 'to be trustworthy and reliable'. When you give your word, can you be trusted to keep it? Many of us just aren't reliable. We can't be counted on to do what we say. It doesn't matter how gifted you are, if you're not trustworthy, God cannot use you. And God will test you! How? By assigning you to do something for a period of time that you don't want to do, something that's not fun or exciting, something that may require you to submit to someone else's authority, something you chafe under. Then He will say to you, 'Just be faithful.' And faithfulness is not merely showing up day after day-it's showing up with a good attitude. God rewards that kind of faithfulness. Jesus said, '...If you have not been trustworthy with someone else's property, who will give you property of your own?' (Luke 16:12 NIV) Simply stated, if you want to be successful, you must be faithful.

God Hears your Prayers

...Lord, the one you love is sick.' John 11:3 NIV

John records, '...Mary and Martha sent someone to tell Jesus, Lord, the one you love is sick.' (NCV) Someone went to Jesus on behalf of Lazarus and because they went, Jesus
responded. The healing didn't take place for several days, but it was set in motion the moment the Lord was called on. Have you ever wondered where your prayers go? '...There was silence in Heaven... And...another angel came and stood at the altar, holding a golden pan...with the prayers of all God's...people. The angel put this offering...before the throne. The smoke...went up...to God with the prayers of God's people.' (Revelation 8:1-4 NCV) Why was there silence in
Heaven? Because someone was praying! Heaven pauses to hear the prayers of someone like you. The prayers of all God's...people...went up...to God. Isn't that awesome! Your words don't stop until they reach the heart of God, so keep praying. Notice, the friend who went to Jesus on behalf of Lazarus said, 'Lord, the one you love is sick.' He didn't base his appeal on he imperfect love of the one in need, but on the perfect love of Jesus. He didn't say, 'The one who loves you is sick.' He said, 'The one you love is sick.' That's different. The power of prayer doesn't depend on the virtue of the one who prays, but on the unchanging love of the one who hears. Aren't you glad? You may be deeply flawed, you may not understand the mystery of prayer, but this much is clear: action begins in Heaven when someone on earth prays.

What You Learn in a Crisis

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''..."Why are we sitting here until we die?"'' 2 Kings 7:3
The armies of Syria had besieged Samaria and the people were dying of starvation. Four lepers, whose disease forced them to live outside the city walls, had got used to living on scraps of bread people threw over the wall each day. But now no more scraps were coming their way. So they said to themselves, '..."Why are we sitting here until we die?"' So they took action. '...They rose at twilight to go to the camp of the Syrians... to their surprise no one was there. For the Lord had caused... the Syrians to hear... the noise of a great army... Therefore they arose and fled... and left... their tents, their horses, and their donkeys... these lepers... went into one tent and ate and drank, and carried from it silver and gold and clothing... Then they said to one another, "We are not doing right. This day is a day of good news, and we remain silent... let us go and tell the king's household"' (2 Kings 7:5-9 NKJV). This story teaches us three important truths. First, that crisis becomes our friend when it moves us to take action. Only when we're sick and tired of being sick and tired, will things begin to change for the better. Second, that - once we take a step of faith - God will move on our behalf. The only thing that can limit Him is our doubt, our stubbornness and our complacency. His Word says, '...Therefore will the LORD wait, that he may be gracious unto you...' (Isaiah 30:18 KJV). Finally, it teaches us that when God blesses us, we can't keep it to ourselves. Others need what God has given us, and we must get it to them - on time.

Building Men & Women of God

'These commandments... Impress them on your children.' Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NIV

Teach your children to respond the right way to God's direction and correction. Help them to understand that God's correction is not rejection. 'My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline and do not resent His rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those He loves, as a father the son he delights in.' (Proverbs 3:11-12 NIV) To help them understand this, first teach them to respond correctly to your discipline. The rules you don't enforce now will be enforced by others later, at a higher cost. But let your discipline be fair, not excessive. And be consistent. Don't permit today what you punished yesterday. Saying things like, 'How many times have I told you?' or, 'If you do that again you're grounded' means you're not serious and that they have several warnings before you act. Enforce it! Don't threaten unless you intend to follow through. Secondly, teach them to respond correctly to authority figures. 'Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established...' (Romans 13:1 NIV) Don't belittle police, teachers, head teachers, pastors, and so on. If you do, it will come back to bite you and your children. Thirdly, share your own experiences of personal growth through correction. Let them know you're not perfect; it will help them relate to your humanity as a parent and it'll give them hope.
'If Mom and Dad learned by being corrected when they blew it, I can too.' Well-chosen times of personal sharing are much more effective than nagging and 'sermonising'!

Building Men & Women of God

'These commandments... Impress them on your children.' Deuteronomy 6:6-7 NIV

Teach your child the importance of standing up for what's right. Our children gravitate towards whatever pleases the important people in their lives-right or wrong-out of their need for acceptance. If their peers are doing it, peer approval will be a powerful influence on them. It's not always about good kids versus bad, or about morality versus immorality-it's about being kids! Solomon, recalling his own youthful tendencies, counseled, 'My son, if sinners entice you, do not give in to them. If they say, Come along with us...do not go along with them...' (Proverbs 1:10-15 NIV) We become like the company we keep, and if our kids are to stand for God against destructive influences they need instruction in several areas. First, the qualities of true friendship. Teach them that true friends seek each other's best interests, and whoever leads them into danger or sin is not a friend. Secondly, the inevitable law of consequences. '...A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature...will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit...will reap eternal life.' (Galatians 6:7-8 NIV) And reinforce your teaching by refusing to rescue them from their consequences. Finally, the right kind of heroes. Instead of rock stars or sports celebrities of questionable character, introduce your children to Bible heroes who modeled godliness, righteousness and courage under pressure! That may seem old fashioned, but when was doing right before God ever old fashioned?