If you don't want people to remember something, don't talk about it. If you don't want to hear about it later, don't sow the seeds of it into their minds. Arguments would cease and stress decrease if only we had the wisdom to know when to be quiet. In order to know what to say, when to say it, and whoto say it to, try to be guided by these Scriptures: 'The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts' (Proverbs 18:8 KJV); 'A wholesome tongue is a tree of life...' (Proverbs 15:4 KJV); 'He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.' (Proverbs 21:23 NIV) Be careful about confessing your mistakes to others. You may be sincere, but when you're hurting, vulnerable and in need of support, you can raise issues that live longer than the explanations you give. You can't stop people from shooting at you, but you don't have to give them ammunition. Certainly there are times when public disclosure is right and wise. Jesus said when someone sins against you, you should do these three things. First, go to them privately. If that doesn't work, take two or three mature people with you. If that doesn't work, bring it to the church leadership (Matthew 18:15-17). If you have sinned, ask God to forgive you and He will. Then focus on the future and put everything else into God's hands. If He can deliver you, He can also defend you. If He doesn't choose to do either, He will use it to develop you.
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