When you buy a house, you need clearly marked boundary lines to let you know what's yours and what's not. Good boundaries make good neighbours. The Bible says, 'Seldom set foot in your neighbour's house - too much of you, and you will be hated.' (Proverbs 25:17 NIV) So, how close is too close? Let's look at three kinds of boundaries we establish between ourselves and others. Rigid boundaries. These are designed to keep others at arm's length and protect your private, self-absorbed world. Without saying a word, your attitude says: 'Keep out, trespassers will be prosecuted!' It's that look on your face I was talking about Sunday. One look and people know to leave you alone or they can approach you. Why do we create such boundaries? Fear! We fear being known, controlled, hurt, or feeling inadequate and inferior. And our rigidity prevents intimacy. Our unwillingness to be vulnerable or to compromise leaves us defensive, isolated and lonely. Closeness and intimacy are things we long for, yet fear and avoid. We think, 'You can't hurt me if I keep you at a safe distance.' But it doesn't work. Someone who is constantly keeping people away was probably hurt at sometime in their life and they can't move past it. God designed us to share life's victories and defeats, not to live in isolation. We are to '...have equal concern for each other. If one part [person] suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it.' (1 Corinthians 12:25-26 NIV) Rigid boundaries rob you of life-enriching relationships. 'So what's the answer?' you ask. Reach out! You were created to give to others, and to receive what they have to give back to you. In giving you are fulfilled, and in receiving you are made complete. Anything less is just existing. You are loved!
No comments:
Post a Comment