Calvary Church

Calvary Church

Thursday, March 7, 2013

The Most Important Skill You Can Teach Your Child (1)

  


As I was praying for our church families this morning God reminded me what a job it is sometimes to raise kids. I have to remind myself just because our boys are now men, that we still have a spiritual battle for little minds going on and that moms and dads need all the help they can get. So I pray you will take heart to what God gives me the next few days. Good decision-making is the key to a happy life in your family. But good decision-making is not a skill some of us are naturally blessed with, while poor decision-making is a handicap others seem to be born with. Courage, education or the ageing process doesn't automatically produce better decision-makers. Spending time with good decision-makers is wise, but it doesn't necessarily rub off on you. And the earlier you teach this skill to your children, the better (Proverbs 22:6). So teach your children the following principles: (1) The consequences you get are the result of the choices you make. Let your children know it's not their circumstances, but decisions they make about them, that govern their lives. You may think your children know this, but they don't. Their 'wiring problem' makes 'cause and effect' difficult to connect until their brain reaches late adolescence. Asking, 'What were you thinking about?' will just invite the famous shoulder shrug and blank stare. They're not stupid - they just need guidance. (2) You will always have options. Children commonly feel powerless and hopeless when reacting to negative circumstances. They tend to be 'either/or' thinkers, concluding that things are either all good or all bad. Teach them 'both/and' thinking, because things can be bad yet you can choose to make good decisions about them. 'Either/or' thinking frequently produces children who become pessimistic, disempowered, easily manipulated, depressed adults. Knowing they always have good options prevents circumstances from dictating their lives. I hope you will pray about these things and ask God how you can use these thoughts and implement them in your child's life? If you do it will be a great learning process as your child gets older. You are loved!

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